Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
