So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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