you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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