I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
