your room smells of hookers.
And success
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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