Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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