oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
