I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
