So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
