Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.