I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis