It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
