He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Dear god my vagina.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
