we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Don't make out with my wife yet
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
