Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
