Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

(1-813): View more from Florida

Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.

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(616): View more from Michigan

they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter

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(319): View more from Iowa

Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...

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(703): View more from Virginia

You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

so i said i had a yeast infection

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(317): View more from Indiana

He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua

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