Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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