I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
