Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm way too hungover for life right now
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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