I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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