i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize