wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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