My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
