We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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