we're blogging at a bar
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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