So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
