I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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