I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
