my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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