Me. At least after what I've been through.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
