So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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