i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
