My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
