Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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