We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
