What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
