honey bunches of taint.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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