The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
