I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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