Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize