Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
