well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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