what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize