2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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