Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
