i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
