then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
