he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
