She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
