weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
