I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
