i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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