So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
