omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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