i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
