There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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