She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize