I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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