Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
